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The Blogula Hits 10.000; Thanks To Freckled Breasts
Well, here we are at 10,000 hits, and all my problems are over. I’ve been waiting for this moment. When everything is redeemed. When everything is glorious and I stand victorious. I have conquered,...
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Wreckage Wreckage Everywhere, Not A Drop To Drink
Time to leave this party town behind. My television was constantly blaring World War 2 documentaries. I figured the annihilation of Stalingrad was an appropriate soundtrack to the destruction and...
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Showdown At The Worm Saloon
“Hey hey, Babydoll, all you gotta do is call. I drank a lot of beer, but you know I got a friend, and his name is Alcohol!” Alcohol, by The Butthole Surfers. Independent Worm Saloon, by The Butthole...
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Gulags and Kitty Cats
Just sitting here digging life. I’m trying not to get into pacing and hand-wringing mode, but one of my cats, Bugsy, has been gone for a day and a half. I’m worried that he’s gotten into a fight or...
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Mardi Gras Death Trip ’89, Part 1
Taking the Greyhound anywhere sucks, but taking it back from anywhere sucks even more. Especially from Mardi Gras. One minute, I was sharing a hotel room with five University of Michigan co-eds at...
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Apocalypse Much Later, Chapter 1.
To The Apocalypse! I broke through the window and started to reach for the can of beans sitting on a hot plate, when I saw the bare wires. Hmm. I followed them up the wall to a marine battery on a...
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9 Years Without A Drop To Drink
Good to the last drop. I’m so very thirsty. Somebody get me some water. Just kidding. Gotta soda right here. I have to admit, I feel a little proud of myself, which is weird. I’m patting myself on...
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It Could Be Worse, And Will Be If You Don’t Stop Crying
Not a bad beer, actually. Right now I’m drinking a protein shake that I ruined by putting in some sort of green algae superfood powder. I tried to make it more healthy, but I made it too healthy. Now...
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When Every Day Sucked.
I remember driving home from work one night. Eight and a half hours without a drink. The bolts were starting to pop out of the seams. The matrix of reality, warping and woofing. Psychosis nudging...
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Pants On Fire
Our pants. our pants, our pants are on fire. I watched a politician lie the other night. I know. Big surprise. But I was only watching to see his technique. Maybe pick up some pointers. He had the...
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